I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine who is a medical doctor, but also very committed to his own growth and healing in all areas of his life.
I was frustrated because in spite of the extensive work I’ve done around issues of not feeling safe, I had once again dropped into a place of fear about challenges/disasters/afflictions that may be coming in my future.
Not only is this emotionally yucky, but not feeling safe also affects the immune system, triggers the fight/flight response, and taxes the adrenals.
As my mind/body interface is pretty tight, along with this descent into fear and suffering-in-advance, I also had a prolific outbreak of Herpes 1 (cold sores) on both sides of my mouth and up the inside of both nostrils! Yes, okay, I will do what it takes to try – once again – to get to the bottom of what is happening here!!
So I’m having dinner with my doc-friend and talking about all this and he says, “Have you considered the possibility that it’s not you who is feeling these things, but perhaps another energy, or entity that is somehow attached to you?” Funnily enough, my good friend Lori Clarke (check out her fabulous guided meditations in our Shoppe) said a similar thing to me the day before. She had said, “I don’t know, this doesn’t feel like you… I mean, it’s you, but not the real you.”
Child Me, Inner Child, Little Me, Younger Me
Now my doc-friend really likes to segment things up into ego, inner child, masculine, feminine, king, magician, etc. This is his preferred languaging for labeling the different aspects of the Self. And I can speak that language, but it doesn’t always feel accurate to me. Especially when working with animals, our human labels/boxes often feel limited and like we’re only exploring the tip of the iceberg.
But nonetheless, it was useful because he called my attention to the inner child. He suspected I was not honoring, loving and bringing Little Jini alongside of me. However, that didn’t ring quite true to me, not just because I have done TONS of work on/with healing and loving Little Jini, but because this state was feeling different… like the experience hovered around that aspect, but was maybe 15-20 degrees off the center of it.
I thanked him for all his help and for bringing my attention into the right area and then I went home to go within and sift through what was coming up – because I knew we were onto something and the message/solution was getting closer.
My go-to tool for separating the strands of a tangled knot like this is EFT Tapping. I find that the quickest way to muddle through all the confusion, swirling, cacaphony of a puzzle is to go straight to the mind/body/energetic-body interface and just start tapping on the top level, or most obvious piece first.
As I tap through the acupressure points and my chi/ki/prana starts flowing, I start to break through the haze, the layers are revealed