I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine who is a medical doctor, but also very committed to his own growth and healing in all areas of his life.
I was frustrated because in spite of the extensive work I’ve done around issues of not feeling safe, I had once again dropped into a place of fear about challenges/disasters/afflictions that may be coming in my future.
Not only is this emotionally yucky, but not feeling safe also affects the immune system, triggers the fight/flight response, and taxes the adrenals.
As my mind/body interface is pretty tight, along with this descent into fear and suffering-in-advance, I also had a prolific outbreak of Herpes 1 (cold sores) on both sides of my mouth and up the inside of both nostrils! Yes, okay, I will do what it takes to try – once again – to get to the bottom of what is happening here!!
So I’m having dinner with my doc-friend and talking about all this and he says, “Have you considered the possibility that it’s not you who is feeling these things, but perhaps another energy, or entity that is somehow attached to you?” Funnily enough, my good friend Lori Clarke (check out her fabulous guided meditations in our Shoppe) said a similar thing to me the day before. She had said, “I don’t know, this doesn’t feel like you… I mean, it’s you, but not the real you.”
Child Me, Inner Child, Little Me, Younger Me
Now my doc-friend really likes to segment things up into ego, inner child, masculine, feminine, king, magician, etc. This is his preferred languaging for labeling the different aspects of the Self. And I can speak that language, but it doesn’t always feel accurate to me. Especially when working with animals, our human labels/boxes often feel limited and like we’re only exploring the tip of the iceberg.
But nonetheless, it was useful because he called my attention to the inner child. He suspected I was not honoring, loving and bringing Little Jini alongside of me. However, that didn’t ring quite true to me, not just because I have done TONS of work on/with healing and loving Little Jini, but because this state was feeling different… like the experience hovered around that aspect, but was maybe 15-20 degrees off the center of it.
I thanked him for all his help and for bringing my attention into the right area and then I went home to go within and sift through what was coming up – because I knew we were onto something and the message/solution was getting closer.
My go-to tool for separating the strands of a tangled knot like this is EFT Tapping. I find that the quickest way to muddle through all the confusion, swirling, cacaphony of a puzzle is to go straight to the mind/body/energetic-body interface and just start tapping on the top level, or most obvious piece first.
As I tap through the acupressure points and my chi/ki/prana starts flowing, I start to break through the haze, the layers are revealed and I start peeling them away to get to the heart – or the root, of what is being offered up for healing.
Luckily, I recorded my EFT Tapping session – I was thinking my doc-friend and Lori would like to have it – and I have now put it together with some slides illustrating the tapping points, so you can follow along too. Because soon after I gained clarity and resolved/healed my own boiling cauldron, the wisdom I gleaned immediately started helping friends around me big time! What I thought was a very specific, or isolated situation turned out to be fairly universal. Who knew!
Who Is Feeling or Responding?
My tapping session led me to realize that when I went into these states of fear/terror about, “No, I don’t want to suffer anymore. I can’t be trapped and tortured again – please, please, no more. Haven’t I suffered enough? Can I be done for this lifetime? I can’t handle another round of this, I can’t do it, I can’t…” What was actually happening was that it wasn’t this present-day ME that was experiencing this, it was the CHILD ME.
Because the Child Me did not have the resources, tools, loving/helpful community of beings, knowledge, experience, healing abilities, money, options, etc. that the Adult Me has!
At the time I was a child and trapped in a fear-ridden, painful situation, the only being I could turn to for help and escape was my horse, Dobbin. When I got on Dobbin’s back I felt the chains fall off my back and shoulders and I was able to fly free – with no thoughts/feelings except the glorious connection to life and love embodied by the horse, which she flowed up and through my body.
After realizing that when I experienced this terror/panic state, it was because Child Me was in the driver’s seat (or the foreground), I started cataloguing all the interactions and experiences throughout my day as to WHO was experiencing, reacting, planning, emotionally responding; Child Me or Adult Me?
I tell you, it’s astonishing!! I consider myself to be a fairly evolved, functional, strong, connected person who is operating from a place of personal power (connection to Earth, Divine, fellow earthlings, etc) overall. Guess what? I was astounded at the number of instances throughout my day when Child Me was driving the bus!
I invite you to do this little exercise yourself.
Something’s bugging you –> Who’s in charge? Who is responding? Who is taking, or not taking action?
Example: After his son’s car was stolen twice, my neighbour installed a security light on the side of his house. However, my bedroom is opposite his light. So when the light goes off, even though I have double-lined curtains, that light comes through as strongly as if I had a night-light turned on in my room. And it came on a LOT.
He installed that light 8 months ago, and it’s annoyed me every night since. Who’s operating here? Well, it’s Child Me!
So I call in Adult Me instead. Adult Me immediately – with no hesitation or timidity – goes up to my neighbour in lightness and friendliness and says, “Hey, do you have any bedrooms on this side of your house?” And explains what is happening with the light in my bedroom. Oh my gosh, neighbour immediately changes the lights, as we’re talking, so they angle downwards and then checks the timer on the lights – discovers it is set to stay on for 5 minutes after each activation and flips the switch to 1 minute instead. The entire interaction is friendly, jovial, we are both laughing and making jokes, there is nothing intimidating or stressful at all. So WHY did I stay silent and fume for 8 months?? Because Child Me was in charge, not Adult Me!
And Child Me is a victim; with no resources, or power, or tools to make her life better.
I tell you, it is that profound and life-changing, yet that simple.
Examine EVERY instance of discomfort, pain, fear, anger, embarrassment, irritation, procrastination, sadness, frustration etc. that occurs throughout your days. And use this new awareness to find out who’s operating at those times? And who do you want to be in charge? Which aspect of you would do a better job in the driver’s seat in each of those instances. And then call in the You that you want. It’s really just that simple.
Decide WHO Should Be in Charge
Of course, there are times when we want Child Me to be in front – coaching, or teaching kids is a great time to let Child Me lead. But when those kids need a boundary set, or need to feel safe, then Adult Me steps to the foreground.
Who is better at playing, and exploring? Maybe your Child Me is better at compassion, maybe not? How about when you’re creating art, or music? Horses usually prefer kids to adults – why? Because kids are less intense and agenda-driven. Children are lighter, more playful, more joyful; which most horses (and other animals) prefer.
So let Child Me lead in the instances it will benefit you and expand you, and move you into greater lightness and play.
Over time, the different aspects of ourselves will not need to be so segregated and separate, but will be able to integrate, so we can move fluently among all the aspects of ourselves – according to what is best in each instance, without even conscious thought.
But in the meantime, start with that question: Who is in charge right now?
And then, if you need/want to, bring in Adult Me and let Adult Me take over. Because Adult Me has SO many more skills, tools, resources and access to help than Child Me ever had.
For some people, the worst time of suffering or being trapped/tortured did not occur in their childhood. Maybe you experienced this state when you were diagnosed with a serious illness – you were trapped at home, or in the hospital and your life fell apart into endless days of pain and suffering.
In this case, you can still benefit from the tapping session below. But instead of talking about Child Me, give that experience of you a different, more apt name. Maybe you want to replace ‘Child Me’ with: 20’s Me (if you were diagnosed in your 20’s). Or Adolescent Me. Or Student Me. You get the idea.
This awareness and the exercise of checking in to see who’s in charge is one level of this healing piece. The next level is when we take this knowledge and awareness into our energy body, and the cells and tissues of our physical body, via tapping on the acupressure (meridian) points. And that’s what this video will lead you through. Of course, your childhood and experiences may be quite different to mine, so feel free to change the words wherever you like.
The Body Interface
For myself, I did this tapping session right after I came home from dinner with my doc-friend, then I went to bed. When I woke up in the morning, the Herpes outbreak which had been rapidly expanding up till that point, was 50% healed. WHY? Because I received the message/wisdom my body was trying to communicate through it’s dis-ease. Within 2 days, the lesions were only red marks on my lips and the Herpes inside my nostrils was 90% gone.
And yes, I was simultaneously treating my physical body with wild oregano and Super Lysine salve and tincture. Remember that once an energetic message manifests in the physical body, you will get the fastest results if you heal ALL aspects of the mind/body/spirit.
As you go through the video, you’ll notice how my initial approach expands to include getting the Kundalini (lifeforce energy) to flow up my spine – this is a tie-in to the scoliosis I was diagnosed with when I was 12 and have worked with to point where my spine is nearly straight. I also branch off into vision issues, as not wanting to see what’s really going on, or what’s going to happen, can affect your physical eyesight too.
A friend of mine who is a 3rd Dan Aikido teacher wrote this to me after following along with the video:
“Listened to this as soon as it came in. Thank you for sharing such a personal process… I loved the timbre of your voice, it was raw and quiet and a different level than your usual recordings. Funny how all experiences can be actually universal. I don’t have the suffering and torture in my past, but I let the words wash over me and mean whatever they wanted to mean for me. Brought my Grampa in and anyone else who needed some love. So much yawning! Feeling mega chill and lighthearted. I find if I just press the points with ki I can relax more and be more present, instead of tapping.”
So if you don’t like tapping, you can either massage, or just press gently on the acupressure points. Or, if you are fluent with visualization, you can just visualize yourself tapping, or run ki/chi through each point. And by the way, yawning, burping, stretching etc. are signs of release and very common in EFT Tapping sessions.
EFT Tapping is a powerful healing tool because it interfaces between the mind/body and thus can shift things at the energetic, or subconscious level. It also involves your bodily sensations and fears or memories that may be stored in your tissues or organs – so you may feel butterflies in your stomach, or heaviness in your chest. Don’t worry! These are all good signs that your body is speaking to you and signposting the way to your healing.
EFT Mind/Body Healing Session For Your Inner Child
Note that you cannot just listen to this video! You must tap along (or massage, or press) with me on the acupuncture points for this therapy to work its magic.
In the beginning, we are going to start by venting, and voicing out loud all the negative crap that may be carried in your subconscious, or past experiences, or beliefs absorbed from your parents without conscious awareness (often before the age of 6).
So even though it may feel like we are focusing on the negative and you probably don’t want to dwell on that, it is an important part of the process for unlocking these limiting concepts and moving them into flow; so they can be transformed into life affirming, positive beliefs and feelings that make your world bigger.
So if you’re feeling uncomfortable, just stay with me, keep tapping, and know that we have to go down into the depths to bring these things up into the light, where we can then shift and transform them. Stick with the video and know that the positive affirmations and life-enhancing re-frames are coming!
Follow along with me; tap or massage on the acupuncture points as they appear on the screen. In the beginning, I’ll tell you when to switch to a new tapping point, but once we get going, you can just shift to tapping on each different point as it appears: