You may numb your feelings to protect yourself, but in actuality you’re just driving your pain deeper into your physical body.
EFT expert Annabel Fisher interviews me (Jini Patel Thompson) on her radio show, and we discuss how moving out of numbing and into courageous vulnerability is the beginning of root-level healing for both your emotional/spiritual body and your physical body.
I share stories from my own life, as well as process and share tools for you to get out of the numb zone and reconnect to your authentic self and true feelings.
We also discuss the difference between being authentic and being vulnerable, as well as the appropriate (healthy) times or situations to dwell primarily in one or the other.
Annabel intersperses our discussion with her previously-recorded interviews with two men (Brian Johnstone and Paul Zelizer) who discuss what being vulnerable means to them and what they have learned in their own process of opening their heart and sharing their full truth.
Listen to the podcast:
NOTE: We reference the work of Brene Brown a number of times, so if you missed my previous post about Brene (where you can watch her excellent videos), then just click here to check out the fabulous Brene Brown.
And to the left is the book I reference in the call (when I give the exercise with the stones). You can find it on Amazon, in either paperback form or on Kindle.
Original post October 2012. Most recently updated April 2020.
There have been plenty of times in my life when I’ve been in that place of soldiering on, and numbing out. When I stepped into vulnerability, and opened my heart, true healing took place.
Really enjoyed listening to this conversation – Jini’s random thoughts were very engaging and at times humorous (can definitely relate to that one relative with whom my level of peace is inversely proportional to the amount of time I spend with her). This is an area of exploration that I have just started to pay attention to, and it will likely keep me engaged for the rest of my life as it is an ongoing process. I used to, as many others do, think of vulnerability as a liability if not a weakness. But it involves immense courage to reveal who you are both to yourself and those you care about as it is a prerequisite to having any kind of meaningful relationship. I don’t think one needs to be vulnerable to the world at large – but you need to be with those you have a more intimate connection. I just came across a psychotherapist who wrote elegantly on shame and commented on Brene Brown’s new book – I’ll try to find the link to his synopsis to post here as some may find it of interest.
New website looks brilliant.
Thanks! And yes, please post the link if you find it.
Here’s the link to an interesting appraisal of Brene Brown’s new “Daring Greatly” book: http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/brene-brown/
Dr.Burgo’s most recent article, which I just came across while getting the link, entitled From Intellectualization to Depersonalization also has some valuable tidbits to someone, such as myself, who feels more comfortable intellectualizing feelings in order to depersonalize them. This may be a coping strategy for many with chronic illness as it is probably easier to deal with the condition if you separate the body from the mind. Until this time I thought this was particularly effective, but he apparently thinks not…. I will reflect upon it some more and see whether there is a right or wrong – or does this approach to dealing with the world also exist in spectrum.