I read this really GREAT article in Oprah magazine, by Raphael Cushnir, where he shares the process he developed to get people who are stuck in cycles of sabotage, or inertia, or confusion… FREE.

Not surprisingly, this is a mind/body technique. It is really fabulous in it’s simplicity. Yet it produces profound shift and unlocking of the things that are holding us back from healing and keeping us locked into our frustrating, disheartening feedback loops.

So after reading the article, I decided to map out the basics of Raphael’s technique in a step-by-step process. That way I could test it out on myself and my kids (who range from age 7 to 13). If you haven’t clicked through to the article, do that now as most of it is his own story of pain and healing, combined with one of his client’s stories – and storytelling is the best way to learn something and have it go in at a deep level of understanding.

Okay, now that you’ve read the article…

Here’s how I broke down his process to use for myself and kids. If you’re leading this process, then you say the words in black. The brackets in green denote the person’s response:

***************************************

Focus on [ the problem ] with all its intense frustration.

Let it fill you up. [ pause ]

With particular attention on your body, tell me what is happening right now?

[ describes physical symptoms ]

Can you be with it? Not the whole issue, just the  [ list physical symptoms ]. For this moment only, can you accept with 100 percent of your being that it’s actually happening? You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to give up your desire to change it. All you have to do is open to it completely.

[ gives it a try ]

What’s happening right now?

[ describes feelings or physical sensations ]

Can you be with that [ list emotion(s) ] and see where it leads?

[ often resistance roars up and person tries to quit ]  OR  [ describes more feelings in body or emotions ]

Can you stay with this process just a little longer?  Sometimes we’re okay to feel difficult, yucky things, but only for a short period of time, then we tighten up against them. So we think we’ve allowed our emotions to flow, but we’ve actually cut them off. And we won’t shift if we can’t move into flow.

If you can allow yourself to expand fully, allowing your emotions to rise and fall, to come and go in their own time, even though it can feel like forever, if you can let go of resistance and allow your emotions to flow, you’ll get the quickest results.

It may sound backwards, but the only way you can move out of a negative, scary or yucky feeling is to allow it and move fully into it. Opening to those feelings is the only way out.

[ person decides to try again ]

Focus on your problem again, with all its intense frustration. Let it fill you up. Go into your body and tell me what is happening right now. [ Sit with the person in their stillness, BE with them, rather than waiting for an answer. ]

[ describes feelings or physical sensations ]

Let’s look again at the  [ problem/issue ]? From this place, what action could you take? Could you [ suggest first step, small step ].

Continue discussion and ideas. If you need to, go back the beginning of the process if something new arises.

***************************************

BIG thank-you to Raphael for sharing his light with us. If you want to learn more about this process and have him guide you through some steps via video, he’s offering a free 4-part video series.

Or, you can book private sessions with him (sliding fee scale).

FOR KIDS:

This process is really useful for kids as they often have trouble articulating what’s going on with them – it just feels like one big, hot, mess.

So sometimes (especially the first few times you do this), after this phrase:

With particular attention on your body, tell me what is happening right now?

If the child answers: “I don’t know”

Then use these questions:

  • Okay, where in your body are the feelings located? Your chest, your tummy, your leg, where?
  • What color is it? (Imagine it’s a color, what color is it?)
  • What shape is it?

*******

Then this next question:

Can you be with that [ list emotion(s) ] and see where it leads?

Changes to (for example):

Can you be with that green triangle in your chest and see where it leads?

by this point, the child is usually in tune enough to start to explore what is really going on for them.

One of my sons deals with a lot of fear, so this process usually involves allowing that fear (instead of fighting against it) and observing it together for a while. Then we allow that fear to flow through his whole body. This then eventually results in insight, or sleep!

Don’t be afraid to just use this process as a framework and then innovate or take it in a different direction according to your own intuition – your gut knows!

Soar higher!

Using Emotions To Unlock Your Self-Healing Power
9 Comments

9 thoughts on “Using Emotions To Unlock Your Self-Healing Power

  • Great technique! I love this. I’m a big believer of “what you resist persists” and this is an extremely useful tool to acknowledge and lean into the uncomfortable place. When we ignore or resist the truth I would go as far to say that it makes us liars and inauthentic. The human experience is like riding a wave yet we don’t get a lot of useful tools or help in how to deal with the icky parts in a conducive manner. Excellent. Thanks!

  • Completely agreed, Jini. I firmly believe that a great part of my prior illness stemmed from the fact that I did not feel it was okay to acknowledge that I was not okay! Instead, I stuffed it all and those emotional toxins poisoned me. I mentioned the part about being a liar because I prided myself on being an honest person. It was a big wake up call to realize that I was the biggest liar of them all by constantly pretending that I had it all together!

    It’s so refreshing to learn tools that can help us through those valleys so we can process our feelings in a healthy manner!

  • So you tested it out on yourself and your kids… how did you find it worked for you and them? I would love more information on how it benefitted if it did.

  • It’s really useful for kids as they often have trouble articulating what’s going on with them – just feels like one big, hot, mess.

    So sometimes (especially the first few times you do this), after this phrase:

    With particular attention on your body, tell me what is happening right now?

    If the child answers: “I don’t know”

    Then use these questions:

    Okay, where in your body are the feelings located? Your chest, your tummy, your leg, where?

    What color is it? (Imagine it’s a color, what color is it?)

    What shape is it?

    *******

    Then this next question:

    Can you be with that [ list emotion(s) ] and see where it leads?

    Changes to (for example):

    Can you be with that green triangle in your chest and see where it leads?

    by this point, the child is usually in tune enough to start to explore what is really going on for them.

    One of my sons deals with a lot of fear, so this process usually involves allowing that fear (instead of fighting against it) and observing it together for a while. Then we allow that fear to flow through his whole body. This then eventually results in insight, or sleep!

    Don’t be afraid to just use this process as a framework and then innovate or take it in a different direction according to your own intuition – your gut knows!

    And post back here, if you feel like it, let us know what happens for you.

  • Thanks for sharing this article, step-by-step process, and the video links. We talk a lot about emotions and feeling them in your body when doing various horse workshops, so the “experiment” Cushnir suggests on feeling them is a great way for people to connect with that.

  • This is really wonderful, Jini. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom and experience. Your kids are very lucky to have such an empathetic and open mom. So often I see that the insecurities, small-mindedness and anger are the things that get passed to kids – especially girls who are heavily influenced by their mothers. I really liked the part about not resisting the truth. This isn’t as easy as it sounds as we are sometimes highly motivated to do so. But once we can acknowledge and accept the truth, we are in a better position to deal with it. I just heard a quote I loved: “Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck in a place you don’t belong.” That’s the truth.

  • Great quote LTD and oh so true!

    Liz I’ve already taught 2 friends a couple of the techniques I learned at your and Linda-Ann’s Yoga, Medicine Wheel & Horses retreat – they LOVED them. You keep rockin it girlfriend!

  • This is so intense! I love this technique! So simple, yet powerful. I am so happy to find this blog. I also got very sick and was using all kind of medication, but since 3 years I did not go to a doctor or did not use any medications. All I take from the nature. Thanks god that here in Kenya we have a plenty of herbs. I am very sure this technique will help me to get rid of my fear. It just comes..I just start to fear of something what I just start to imagine. I know, it sounds weird.Well, anyway, thank you very much for sharing your wisdom.

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